Set on a sunny, smog-free Valentine’s Day in the city of Los Angeles, the film follows many different characters from sun-up to sun-down, showing how their various love lives unfold. The most engaging story follows Julia (the consistently wonderful Jennifer Garner), her lover, Dr. Harrison (Patrick Dempsey) and her best friend, Reed (Ashton Kutcher). Reed discovers that Harrison is married, thereby making Julia “the other woman.” Reed tries his best to convince Julia that Harrison is up to no good and even tries to win her hand in the process.
There are star-studded casts, and then there’s the cast of Valentine’s Day. The film boasts as many recognizable faces as Love Actually, if not more, but the high level of talent fails to improve the lackluster dialogue (you know it’s a crowded cast when Julia Roberts has a small role). If anything, the movie suffocates under its own star power, cramming celebrities in where they don’t belong. The role of a young cheerleader played by Taylor Swift would have been better left to an unknown actress who could have convincingly played the part. Swift has found tremendous success in her singing career, but let’s just say that acting isn’t her surprise talent.
Because of the widespread plot, Valentine’s Day feels wildly uneven. A couple of story threads are interesting, some are neither here nor there, and the rest are just plain weak. All are familiar. Nothing stands out as memorable and original, which yet again makes Love Actually look like a masterpiece in comparison. Instead of falling in love multiple times, I felt like I was re-watching multiple romantic comedies I had forgotten about years ago.
Garry Marshall, a master of comedy since The Dick Van Dyke Show, directed Valentine’s Day. As Penny Marshall’s brother, Garry carries great comedy in his family genes, but his pacing and tone fall flat this time around. Moments obviously intended to elicit laughs failed to make me even chuckle half-heartedly. For instance, Anne Hathaway plays a businesswoman who moonlights as a phone sex operator. While out and about in public situations, her phone will ring, and she’ll have to pick up and engage in embarrassing conversation. The concept sounds promising, but the execution fails to amuse.
Unfortunately, the biggest missing piece here is the most important one: the feeling of being in love. I never once swooned or sighed, and I’ve got some very tug-on-able heartstrings. Valentine’s Day doesn’t capture the unbearable bliss of being head over heels in love. It shows various types of romance but doesn’t make us experience them. The story spans so many situations and age groups that it had the potential to communicate the sexual excitement of young love, the agony of failed love, or the comfort of lasting love. Instead, I mostly saw a bunch of stars pretending to be in love.
I know I’ve cited Love Actually many times here, but when an amateur performs a well-known piece at a concert, you can’t help but think of the definitive version. Garry Marshall is no amateur, but Valentine’s Day feels like an amateur effort. Romantic Comedies have to get two things right to work (the two qualities for which the genre is named), and Valentine’s Day comes up short on both.
Click here to view the trailer.
For the Parents:
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for some sexual material and brief partial nudity.
Kids should be at least thirteen, as there is some sexual dialogue and a few sensual scenes. The brief nudity comes when a guy strategically covers himself with a guitar, and his would-be seduction goes terribly wrong. Unfortunately, it’s not particularly sexy or funny.